A lady is picking through the frozen turkeys and says to a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
He says, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for money,'she replied.


A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Xmas. After hearing about the extravagant gift, a friend of his said, 'I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.'
'She did,' he replied. 'But where the hell was I going to find a fake jeep?'